The Barnstormers Theater  "The oldest continuously operating community theater in Pennsylvania..."

Texas Chainsaw, The Musical

Cast: 5m., 3w.  All must be physically fearless and agile


The Texas Chainsaw Musical! is the story of a handsome serial killer, his overly affectionate momma, the women he loves, and the pantywaist runt that ruins everything.  It is not based on the 1974 horror film, but on the same events that  inspired The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Psycho, and Silence of the Lambs: Wisconsin serial killer, Ed Gein. In the musical, Eddy Gee has been tormenting the residents of Plainfield, Texas since he was a child. After killing his mother, Eddy snaps and goes on a rampage, but things get problematic when he falls in love with one of his intended victims. Over-the-top humor, absurd but authentic characters, and moving, catchy tunes lead us through the lives of the four main characters as they trip over each other toward an unexpected and shocking ending.


CAST OF CHARACTERS

EDDY (tenor, baritone that can belt) Main character & anti-hero. His quest is for Momma’s love – and also his control over her through every woman he meets. Sings several songs. A tall, handsome young man.


LUCRETIA (mezzo-soprano that can belt) Eddy’s girlfriend. She wants Eddy – at all costs. She’s jealous, vicious and crafty. 20-30 years old, dark hair, compelling. Sings two songs.


STEVEN (baritone, tenor) Kristy’s wanna-be boyfriend, the pantywaist runt. He’s a nobody, whose quest is to prove himself and become a somebody. Nerdy, young man. Sings a few songs, including finale.

KRISTY (mezzo-soprano) The good girl who wants to find someone to take care of her and treat her like a princess, like her Papa used to do. Sings one song. Young, sweet, and innocent.

MOMMA / MOTHER (contralto) Eddy’s twisted Momma. Also, Steven’s twisted Mother. Middle-aged or older woman; Ethel Mermanesque. Sings one duet.

MELISSA / JOEY (mezzo-soprano) Melissa is a female victim that sings a duet with Eddy. Young, pretty and flirtatious.
Joey is a census-taker; no singing.

MR. JASON / EZEKIEL (baritone) Principal of Eddy’s school. Sings one duet with Momma. Middle aged male.
Ventriloquist Jehovah’s Witness. No singing.

VICKI Ventriloquist dummy, performed by backstage actor on microphone. No singing.

NUN (mezzo-soprano/contralto that can belt) Middle-aged or older woman. Sings one passionate gospel solo. Can be combined with Momma / Mother.

COMPANY (4) These are Eddy’s victims. Sometimes they show up dead, they are also the Passengers on the train, and Townspeople. Can be comprised of the actors playing Mr. Jason, Momma, Melissa, and the Nun, or additional actors can be brought in.

The Full Monty   (This Show is Rated "R")

Cast: 6M & 4F
A raucous, pop-rock-musical send-up of gender expectations and stereotypes... that takes it all off.

Jerry Lukowski: 30 to 40
An unemployed mill worker, fighting to maintain his pride and the custody of his only son. All-American jock and the definitive man's man. Spontaneous. Very prideful.
Vocal range top: D6   Vocal range bottom: C4

Pam Lukowski: 25 to 35 
Jerry's estranged wife and high school sweetheart. She wants what is best for her son. Strong business woman, but also compassionate and motherly.
Vocal range top: A5  Vocal range bottom: B3

Dave Bukatinsky: 30 to 40
Jerry's best friend and fellow unemployed mill worker. Very much a man's man, but more of a follower than leader. The definitive sidekick. Prideful. Self-conscious about his size.
Vocal range top: E6  Vocal range bottom: C4

Georgie Bukatinsky : 30 to 40
Dave's wife. She loves her husband, and worries about him. Loud, outgoing and brash. She is the "leader" of her group of girlfriends.
Vocal range top: A5  Vocal range bottom: G3

Harold Nichols: 35 to 45
An unemployed supervisor at the mill. Hot Metal's choreographer. Thinks his worth comes from providing for his wife, so he hides his unemployment from her.
Vocal range top: A5  Vocal range bottom: B3

Vicki Nichols: 30 to 40
Harold's wife.  She enjoys the finer things in life. Loves her husband more than anything, and supports him no matter what.
Vocal range top: A5  Vocal range bottom: G3

Malcolm Macgregor: 25 to 35
An unemployed mill worker. Lives at home with his mother. Depressed, suicidal, awkward, and feeble. Pigeon-chested. Finds comfort in Ethan.
Vocal range top: E6  Vocal range bottom: C4

Ethan Girard: 25 to 35
An unemployed mill worker. Lonely. Has a blind determination and confidence to succeed. Finds company with Malcolm.
Vocal range top: A5  Vocal range bottom: D3

Noah "horse" T. Simmons: 50 to 60
A retired mill worker. Embarrassed about being an "average sized" Black man. Despite being old and slow when walking, he still has explosive dance moves. Frequently grumpy.
Vocal range top: B5  Vocal range bottom: F2

Jeanette Burmeister: 65 to 75
A piano player of indeterminate years and show-business pro. Sassy, quick-witted, and larger than life. Has slowed down in recent years.
Vocal range top: B5  Vocal range bottom: F4

Ensemble:

Children's Christmas Show

One Act Festival

You will be auditioning for all 6 shows at one time. 

Actors are expected to prepare a 2 minute monologue and be prepared to do a cold reading by one or more of the directors.

Orphans

Casting: 3m


Two brothers, Phillip, sensitive, reclusive, never venturing out of his North Philly home and Treat, a violent pickpocket and thief who kidnaps a mysteriously wealthy businessman who turn the table on the two brothers and in strange, hilarious and moving way, becomes their long lost father figure.


Cast of Characters:

Phillip: Age 15-20- The younger brother who has been shielded fr om the outside world. (He has the mindset of a 5 year old but  he wasn't born that way, it was the way he was raised by his older brother Treat.)
Treat: Age- 18-25- The older abusive brother. He clearly has anger issues. He is a criminal, pick pocketing and stealing.
Harold: Age- 30-50 - A gan gster on the run gets kidnapped by the two brothers. He is funny but also very wise. A father figure to the boys. 

Murder At Crimson House

Casting: 8M+/- & 6W +/-


In this spoofy, musical murder whodunit, Hercules Porridge Jr., son of the famous Hoboken detective of the same name, just might solve the mystery.  Or he might not.  Overcoming his ineptness to investigate the goings on at Crooked House, a seedy hotel where the guests pay outrageous rent for shoddy service, he discovers what they are actually paying is BLACKMAIL!  Adding murder to the mystery, a corpse is discovered in the sitting room, and a beautiful secretary is done in by deadly orchid juice.  This is classic Tim Kelly at his best, full of eccentric characters, including mystery writer Anguish Crispie, a curious young man in safari attire, a strange actress, a crackpot colonel, and a directionally-challenged butler.  Read more...With a rousing and haunting score by the amazing Bill Francoeur, this campy private eye musical comedy is worth further investigation!
 

Cast of Characters
BUM: intruder
REBECCA FITZWILLIAM: landlady of Crimson House
JEEVES: old butler; totally confused
SHIRLEY: young maid
FAY STRANGE: strange young actress
ANGUISH CRISPIE: writes mystery plays
MARK PALEGRAVE: eccentric young man; interested in orchids and bugs
PENNY RUSSELL: distraught young bride
DELIVERY PERSON : anyone for pizza?
HERCULES PORRIDGE: the famous Hoboken detective (well, almost)
LEON RUSSELL: corpse
BRIDGET MORIARTY: doomed visitor
DETECTIVE BOBBY: city police
OFFICER MULLIGAN: Bobby’s partner
COLONEL CHUTNEY: bizarre neighbor
STUDENT ONE: aspiring investigative reporter
STUDENT TWO: another
STUDENT THREE: another
NURSE PAYNE: not what the doctor ordered.